The Wimp’s Guide to Killing a Spider

When I went to move my clothes to the dryer this evening, I beheld an enormous eight-legged hellspawn staring malevolently at me from the wall. It was far too large and scary to squish - it would have made a horrible popping sound - and I never trust vacuums as a method of spider execution because I’m terrified they’ll crawl back out seeking vengeance. Also I live alone, with no friends immediately nearby, and the boyfriend only visits on weekends.

So I had an idea.

An awful idea.

I had a wonderful, awful idea.

I stirred up a generous amount of paste with flour and water, which I then thickly applied around the edges of a small tupperware container as a sealant. I soaked two cotton balls in nail polish remover and put them in the bottom. With packing tape in hand, and wearing latex gloves, I carefully placed the death-contraption over the spider (this took about 3 minutes of psyching up) then used a completely unnecessary amount of tape to secure it to the wall.

The spider is dead now. The boyfriend will be removing its body this weekend.